higher than the Empire State
i am under the influence of sugar,
caffeine, and lack of sleep, and
should not be held
responsible for my behavior.
Nothing to complain about today. You?
I’m doing better, way better.Fill my glass, I’m crashing here tonight. Fuck it!
(Source: luke-cruisele)
I whip my hair back and forth XD
love the outfit, always nice to see your Gifs Alaina ;)
(Source: sitonthecornerwithdrownsoda)
Ava heard him, he was telling her everything she didn’t wanna hear. She felt her fist ball into fist, she had no voice, she had nothing. Turning to face him, heart heart threatening to pop out of chest. She held her stomach as she spoke, her knees shaking, “I do those things because you scare me okay?” she said looking at him, “This, all these feelings all of this, I did, I thought it was all bullshit, and then you come along and turn my whole world upside down, and I can’t even breathe anymore.” she said getting flustered, “You come here, being all I ever wanted and then I fall for you, slowly but surely and I can’t handle this, and it crashes on me, and I forget how to breathe, when I look at you.” she felt her voice getting louder, “Yes, I’m a fucking bitch. Yes, I’m giving you reasons to hate me, because you should pick her, because she’s everything I’ll never be, she’s alive, and I’m fucking dead, don’t you get it I’m fucking dead.”“All my life, all my life I’ve been told that no one will ever care about me, that nothing I do will ever be good enough, that I was nothing..” she felt the tears running down her cheeks now, “It’s hard to believe you look at me like I’m something, because it’s not what I think about myself. You walk in here, and you show me that I can be something and that I’m more than what I’ve made myself to be and it scares me right out of my mind.” she said then she heard it. She heard him say he was in love with her, her breath caught. Then she was shaking her head fast, “No, No, Stop talking, stop talking right now! No.” she couldn’t handle it, she couldn’t take it all, no one love her, she was not someone you fell in love with she was just the stop along the way to finding the one. She felt her knees give, falling to the ground, the glass shards cutting her legs and hands as she reached down to stop herself from falling. She was shaking all over, and crying, he couldn’t love her, she was dead.
Luke knew, he promised himself that he wouldn’t fall in love with a ghost. That he wouldn’t love a dead girl, that he would walk away from both Ava and Natasha. To leave the house for awhile and come back when everything was long and forgotten how much he cared for these girls. That including his sister, but nothing seemed to work. Even if he could try, he couldn’t. She got the best of him, she made her ways inside of his heart and there’s no way of getting her out. At this point, he didn’t care if she was dead, alive, demon, angel or just part of his imagination. He didn’t care. He wouldn’t allow her dead status be the reason the two couldn’t be together.
He listened to her talk about him not being able to love her, but he wiped the tears from his face. “I’m sorry, but it’s the fucking truth Ava. Deep down, you know I speak the truth!” He said before he watched her collapse, he sprinted to her as the glass started to cut through his jeans and on to his skin. He didn’t cared, as long as she wasn’t the one hurt that’s what mattered to him. “Come, let’s get you on the bed.” He grabbed her, picking her up as he laid her down. “Just stay there for a second. I need to grab the broom and mop.” He said as he removed the glass from his skin and tossed it to the floor.
In less than ten minutes, he cleaned his best to his abilities with the floor. He went ahead and grabbed the first aid kit and started to clean her wounds before grabbing bandage to cover her cuts. When he finished, he removed his jeans as he saw a few cuts, and one deep one that was the reason why he was bleeding a lot. He grabbed a large cloth and cleaned the other wounds before pressing hard on to the large cut til it stopped bleeding. After a few moments he walked towards the counter to lay everything there as he excused himself to wash his hands. After a few moments there after he returned to her with his boxers and shirt. “I am alive still.” He joked a bit as he sat on the bed and looked at her. “I don’t care what you are. I don’t care your the biggest bitch around. I love you, and you will get tired of hearing me say it. But, it’s the truth. Deal with it.” He said as he leaned on to her forehead and pressed his lips on to her skin.
(Source: luke-cruisele)
Ava watched him take the bottle, she was not having that, the worst thing you could do was take Ava’s bottle from her she needed it, she needed to feel numb. “Who do you think-..” she couldn’t finish her bitchy remark when he embraced her. Feeling his strong arms around her, made her feel it again, that feeling, the one she swore she would lose forever now that he had crumbled her too pieces. She felt herself relax in his arms, then it hit her. He’s giving you pity Ava, he’ll hug you know make you feel like you’re something rather than nothing, and then he’ll leave you. Her mind was screaming at her to stop it now, before she was broken beyond repair. Pulling out of his embrace, she walked over to the wet dresser, giving her back to him, “Don’t do this okay? Don’t give me false fucking hope, don’t pity me. I’m dead, I’m nothing.” she breathed, she swore at the rate she was going, the dizziness picking up, she was weak in the knees ready to fall at any minute.
Luke watched her walk away from him as she started to have her breakdown. He watched her, how from one person to the next she became. He knew, he had fault in it. As much as he wished to avoid this, he had no choice but to confront it. “I am not here to blame you, me…no one. What more you wanted from me? I give you me…I give you remarks, I try to make you feel special. What you did? You through me away as if I’m a dog. Not once, not twice, not even three times.” He could feel himself losing his cool but it came to this point. “How many times does someone have to stand around taking the hits Ava? A normal person would say, fuck this. I deserve better. But you put me in a situation that I am like damn, here I go again, liking and wondering if Natasha was a better choice. Cause after all…she’s my best friend.” He knew that would sting, he wasn’t after hurting her but he had to tell her what he was going through.
“I didn’t want to doubt you, I didn’t picked Natasha after Saturday. I was excited, woke up, saying shit. Today, will be the day I will ask Ava out. I was going to do it on Saturday night. But, nah. I’ll leave that for the next day. To make it special, spoil her…like I fucking promised you. That’s all I wanted to do.” He could feel his voice cracking, he didn’t want to allow her or anyone to see him like this, but he didn’t cared anymore. “All I wanted to do was to show you, how much I have fallen in love with you. Is that so fucking hard for you to understand? To comprehend, that someone actually cares about you? That someone actually loves you?” His eyes started to water, fighting back the tears. “Yes, I do like Natasha. Yes, I have a crush on her. But…” He swallowed hard, “You were the one I picked. You were the one, I wanted to asked out. You are the one that I have fallen in love with. But…” he swallowed hard as a tear escaped from his eyes, “…to you…it’s all bullshit right?” He said as he looked at her into those big blue eyes.
(Source: luke-cruisele)
Ava was used to hearing the people gather at her door, she was pretty mental and it drew attention. Normally she would go out and tell them all to piss off, but it seemed Luke had done it for her. She looked over at him as she watched him lock the door, the drunkness was setting in, “Oh you’re locking the door, ready for round two?” she asked slurring her speech, she would never let anyone in after this. “Chill, I’m dead, nothing can hurt me now.” she said lying threw her teeth, feelings could still hurt her. Pushing her raven hair back, she moved her hands off of her shoulders, avoiding his gaze, feeling a tear run down her face, quickly wiping it, she reminded her self that she couldn’t cry, it would show that she had let him in and she couldn’t let him see that. “I know you’re know so this freaks you out, but everyone is used to these episodes,” she said straightening herself, “Now I gotta drink this, and break a couple more things, you staying to watch the pretty girl lose her mind?” she asked him, she had all her walls back up, boys broke her and she had to rebuild just to have the next one break her again.
Luke wasn’t an idiot, if the girl could cry she could feel something. If she looks straight up human, there must be some way they feel something. He just allowed her make believe she can say whatever to him. Even if he said so otherwise, all she would do is argue with him that she would be fine. He grabbed her to stand up, “Just gimme that.” He grabbed the other bottle from her hands and settled it away from her as he started to smell the liquor from the floor from the broken glass that held the previous bottle. He looked at her, walking to her he didn’t care if she would push him away but his hands wrapped around her, holding her tightly as he placed her face on to his chest. Seeing her like this was too much for his soul to bare. It wasn’t pity, he wasn’t one to do that. But, shit his heart sank and he knew she meant a lot to him even if he tried not to admit to it. Even if Sam’s words sink into his skull that this wasn’t right, that he shall not love a dead girl. He could try his best to push himself from her and try to allow someone else in…even if he does like Natasha…what he feels for Ava was always unique and powerful.
(Source: luke-cruisele)
